


You Are My Favorite What If (The Best I’ll Never Know)

by PajamaGirl1698



Category: The 100, The 100 (TV), clexa - Fandom
Genre: Clexa, F/F, High School AU, I AM SORRY, I am so sorry, Unrequited Love, but maybe they'll end up together, clexa af, feelings sux, idk - Freeform, poor clarkey
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-27
Updated: 2015-05-31
Packaged: 2018-04-01 11:52:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,424
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4018726
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PajamaGirl1698/pseuds/PajamaGirl1698
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You saw her first before Lexa spots you on the hallway. You sigh as she gives you the brightest smile and you want to crawl and hide and let the ground swallow you whole, or maybe just be floated in space. </p>
<p>CLEXA FIC! They are bestfriends and Clarke loves Lexa but Lexa is with Costia.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Gay for Greene

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! First of all, thank you for clicking on this shit work of mine. This is my first fanfic so I am kinda nervous. This was supposed to be a fic by my sister and I but she is a lazy ass seestra (seestra you reading this? i hope you are!) so it's just me. Oh, and English is not my first language so sorry if there are grammatical errors. Anyway, I talk too much. I hope you enjoy reading! :) sorry if it sucks.

You saw her first before Lexa spots you on the hallway, 2nd period had just ended and students were swarming in and out of classrooms. You sigh as she gives you the brightest smile and you want to crawl and hide and let the ground swallow you whole, or maybe just be floated in space. 

“Clarke! Hey,” she finally says as she stopped in front of your locker, holding her Trigonometry textbook, her brown locks resting on her bare shoulder. 

“Hey, Lexa, listen—“ you started to say but she cut you off.

“Guess who got a date with her crush?” she bit her lip, anticipating for your ‘guess.’

“Uh,” you looked down on your feet. Not Clarke, obviously, you wanted to say but she cut you off again. Jumping up, she said:  
“ME, THAT’S WHO!” she grabbed both your shoulders and shook and you wonder whether it’s the shaking or her touch that made you really dizzy. “Griffin! Costia just agreed to have dinner with me next Friday! Clarke, can you belive this?” 

Lexa sounded so happy and content and sure. She was sure of Costia. And all you could do was force your muscles to form half a smile. Because you’re pretty sure you’re in love with Lexa.

“Wow, that sounds so…” -- unfortunate, awful, it’s making you sick, you hate it -- “… great!” you say.

Lexa nodded, thankful for your support. “I know! She’s the most amazing girl I’ve met, well, except for you, of course, but you’re my bestfriend, Clarke…”

She lost you there. She kept on talking about Costia and you fucking hang on her words. ‘bestfriend,’ that’s all Clarke Griffin would be to Lexa Greene. And you shudder at the thought, because you realize she’ll never talk about you the way words delicately come out of her mouth when she talks about that girl. She would never stay up late thinking about you the way she always tells you about her sleepless nights in wake of Costia. She would never write songs and cry for you the way you do for her. You could never love her the way you want to and she would never love you the way you wanted to be loved. 

You sigh. Lexa, that’s the dream. But this is reality. Reality sucks.

“Clarke. You there?” she snaps at you, interrupting your train of thought.

“Um, yeah, sorry,” you apologize. 

“You seem really off lately, should I go tell your mom, Griffin?” she said threateningly, a hint of humor in her beautiful green eyes, her lips slightly pouted, and you wonder for like the hundredth time how it would feel to lean in and close the distance between you two.

You laughed, not at the joke, but at yourself, because you’re just so gay for this girl. Costia better take care of her, because you swear to god, if you ever see those green eyes well up with tears, all hell would break loose. Clarke Griffin has a very bad temper and you would be happy to show that to Costia.

You both hear the bell signaling for 3rd period, and you quickly gather your stuff.

“Shit,” she curses, she’s about to leave when she kisses your cheeks and say, “laters, Griffin!” 

You fucking swear you can feel the heat creep up your neck to your face as you stood there, watching her walk away, as regal and authoritative as ever, and you hear the second bell before you could actually move, touching your left cheek and you hide your lip behind your palm as a smile forms its way on your lips.


	2. Silence and Sulking

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the reads on the first chapter! *cries* I am sorry if this is kinda short and if there are any errors or anything but enjoy reading! :) xx

You lie on top of your queen-sized bed, sprawled across your Buzz Lightyear bedsheet as you stare up at the glow-in-the-dark stars on the black ceiling of your enormous bedroom that your dad set up when you were 4 years old. You think about Lexa.

Your bestfriend was currently hanging out with Costia and you sigh and look sideways, seeing yourself and Lexa on a picture by the bedside table. You looked up again. 

Lately, Lexa had been with Costia a lot and you notice that she is growing very fond of this olive-skinned girl. You’ve heard about Costia way more than you’d actually prefer to. Lexa talked about her in times ranging from 89 to a million and she just couldn’t shut up about her. Normally, Lexa was a very quiet and reserved person. In the whole course of your friendship, you did most of the talking. But you know that when Lexa gets interested in something (or someone); she gets a little too giddy and really be a dork about it.

You smile, remembering the time when you actually tricked Lexa (long story) into watching 3 seasons of Wizards of Waverly Place when you were 11. The very next day, Lexa knew more shit about the show more than you ever cared to. You remember Lexa singing the Funky Hat Song on your way to school and it becoming kind of your thing in middle school (and still doing it sometimes now that you’re in high school).

Of course, Lexa only sang and danced along with you when the two of you were alone.

(There were many sides of Lexa she showed only to you).

 

After another hour of sulking, you finally get up and take the charger off your phone, checking for any texts from Lexa. 

There’s nothing.


	3. Pretty Boy Finn

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello people :) here is chapter 3!

It took a while, but you eventually found a distraction.

Distraction in the form of a floppy-haired boy named Finn Collins. He was a junior, and he kissed you a lot and you let him. 

He was nice (but Lexa had held up your hair countless of times as you puke your guts out when you’ve had too much to drink). 

He was smart (but Lexa had memorized all the countries of the world when she was seven and competed in a national championship when she was nine and won).  
He was funny (but Lexa was the only person who could make you laugh and smile the few months after your dad died). 

He was good-looking (but Lexa was beautiful and perfect and had the most wonderful eyes). 

All things considered, he was great (but Lexa was amazing).

And he’s at your side (but Lexa was at Costia’s).

 

He held your hand and took you to parties and bought you ice cream and took Lexa’s free seat at lunch (next to you) while Lexa sat with Costia. He laughed with your friends and they all seemed to like your new “boyfriend.”

You almost choked at the first mention of the word on Girl’s Night and you swear for a moment you felt Lexa’s piercing stare like she’s looking right through your every bone and vein. Good thing Octavia threw a pillow and hit your face and started a pillow fight.

 

“So what’s Pretty Boy like?” Lexa asked you one night when she went over to watch a movie with you and “catch up.”

“What?” you ask, your eyebrows furrowed, and though you see her wearing her eyeglasses millions of times, you can’t help but admire how it complements her beautiful green eyes.

“Finn. What’s he like?” she said, eyes still on the TV screen as Anna Kendrick sang ‘On the Steps of the Palace’.

“Oh,” you say. You bit your lip and looked down at your toes, “Uhm, well… he’s fine.” You shrug.

“Seriously? That’s it? ‘Fine’? Clarke, come on, give me some details,” she nags.

You roll your eyes, “Lexaaa,” you sing, “this is an Anna Kendrick movie we’re watching; you know I need to concentrate.”

“Clarke, you’ve watched this movie for what? A million times now? Come on, you’ll probably rewatch this when I go home” – true – “let’s talk! We haven’t talked a lot lately,” she said.

And you can’t help it, you say the words. “Because you’re always with Costia,” you mutter, barely even audible.

Silence enveloped the whole room. Silence too long for your liking.

Then she laughed, and you look at her, and you force yourself to laugh but you can’t – so you settle for a smile instead. And you worry that she might see right through you, like she always does. But she doesn’t, because she just says, “Claaarke,” rolls her eyes at you, and continues watching, adjusting her eyeglasses.

As Cinderella put on the golden shoe she left at the palace, you stare at Anna Kendrick as you wonder how a person can unlearn a bestfriend after just spending a few weeks with a new girl.  
 

**Author's Note:**

> If you have anything to say about this, my tumblr is PajamaGirl1698.tumblr.com so yeah x)


End file.
